The People Who Steady A Room

Who are your favorite people to be around?

Generosity of spirit has so many facets: patience, kindness, steadiness, the ability to see others clearly without judgement. I could write about all of them, but today I’m choosing just one or two that feel especially true to me.

I love people who move through the world with a sense of emotional abundance, as if kindness isn’t something they’ll run out of, but something that grows the more they use it.

These are the people who steady a room simply by being in it. 
Who leave others feeling a little more seen, a little more human. 
Who remind me that goodness doesn’t need an audience.


2. Footwear? You ask us girls about shoes?

Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.

Feb 2026. Below is the reply to the DP I wrote a year ago. Not long after, I had begun blogging again. I’m tempted to rewrite the whole thing. But no. I’ll leave it be.

Feb 2025. Currently, I  spend most of my time in wellies. It’s February, in England and I walk my dog a lot in the muddiest of areas. My choice, I know.

But asking a female about favourite footwear? With any luck, we’ve all had quite a few pairs that have made us happy. Yes, I can see I’ve generalised there, and yes, there are going to be lots of ladies that have had the one special pair, and I look forward to reading about them.

Cowboy boots, desert boots, moccasin boots, Converse, Birkies, platforms, killer heels, bejewelled sandals, clogs, the list goes on.

I don’t buy leather anymore, but I did once upon a time have the most beautiful chestnut coloured sandals that encased my foot. It’s impossible to describe, really but memorable. They took me to Saudi Arabia- and thinking about that, I imagine I gave up my beloved biker boots at that same time. Wouldn’t be needing those in the desert.

When giving is all we have

Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received.

One river gives its journey to the next

We give because someone gave to us.
We give because nobody gave to us.

We give because giving has changed us.
We give because giving could have changed us.

We have been better for it,
We have been wounded by it—

Giving has many faces: It is loud and quiet,
Big, though small, diamond in wood-nails.

Its story is old, the plot worn and the pages too,
But we read this book, anyway, over and again:

Giving is, first and every time, hand to hand,
Mine to yours, yours to mine.

You gave me blue and I gave you yellow.
Together we are simple green. You gave me

What you did not have, and I gave you
What I had to give—together, we made

Something greater from the difference.

Alberto Rios (1952 ~ )

What remains when symbols are stolen

Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?

I envy the ease with which the Scottish, Irish, Welsh, and Cornish lift their flags ~ symbols of heritage carried without suspicion.

For many of us in England, the St George’s Cross has been burdened by years of appropriation, its meaning bent out of shape by people I don’t stand with. And so the question comes: am I patriotic? Not in the loud, performative sense. But in the quieter ways ~in wanting fairness, in caring about the land beneath my feet, in feeling protective of the humour, the contradictions, the decency that still runs through this place ~perhaps I am.

And if patriotism includes affection for your own people, then yes, I feel that, too. I’m especially fond of my fellow Brummies: their warmth, their wit, their refusal to take themselves too seriously.

I’m grateful as well for the small mercies of this island ~even our weather. We have our floods and our wildfires, of course, but not with the ferocity some countries endure; there’s a gentleness to our climate that mirrors the quieter loyalties I carry.

Yet I can’t pretend there isn’t a shadow side. I’m often ashamed of how many of the titled and entitled make the headlines for all the wrong reasons, as though their behaviour stands in for the rest of us. It doesn’t ~but it still stings.

And perhaps that’s the heart of it. My patriotism isn’t blind. It isn’t boastful. It isn’t borrowed from flags or slogans. It’s a kind of stewardship ~loving a place enough to see its flaws clearly and still wanting better for it. A loyalty that doesn’t shout but stays. A loyalty that hopes.

You’re nicked!

Have you ever unintentionally broken the law?

It was mostly to have been a Wednesday, the day they lurk at the side of the road, waiting for you to come along at speed.

The country road coming out of town has a multitude of speed change signs. A ridiculous amount.

I saw the police van ahead and approached the village with caution. You’d be hard pushed to knock someone down there as the pavements are wide and the houses set back. A one horse kinda place.

I drove past at a snail’s pace and could see the new speed sign to my left as I drove out of the place. Because there was an incline, I put my foot down a bit. And that was me, toast!

 

A week or so, the fine comes through the post. Points on my licence and an insurance hike for something like 3-4 miles over the limit. Great!

What’s in a title?

If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?

Hmm. Interesting, WP. You state biography, not autobiography. Suggesting the title would have been chosen by someone else? In which case maybe SailingClose to the Wind.

My choice? I’m Still Standing. Many thanks to Sir Elton John for that.

Words by Philip Larkin

What were your parents doing at your age?

They f*ck you up, your mum and dad.  
    They may not mean to, but they do.  
They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.

But they were f*cked up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,  
Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.

Philip Larkin (1922~1985)

The dictatorship

If you had the power to change one law, what would it be and why?

The heavy hand of the supermarkets needs addressing. They dictate to the farmers on buying prices, quality, packaging, and delivery.

Plus payment terms, demands to fund promotional costs, and forced return of unsold merchandise across the board.

Despite not drinking milk or eating meat, it’s impossible not to see the injustice  here and empathise with the farmers who struggle to keep their heads above water. They have so many factors to take into consideration to earn an honest crust. Whilst the Suits at supermarkets sit at their desks and rake it in.